


You don't see me

by Tookachonceforstylessmile



Category: Narry - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Liam only mentioned, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Niall Horan/Harry Styles-centric, Unrequited Crush, not good at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-20 06:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11915475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tookachonceforstylessmile/pseuds/Tookachonceforstylessmile
Summary: I haven't been back in almost two weeks. I decided I needed a detox. It hasn't been easy by any means. I have found myself across the street staring at the big brown door, not even knowing how I got there in the first place. Some addictions are harder for some to let go. Harder than others and he has been the hardest addiction of all.





	You don't see me

**Author's Note:**

> This little scene played in my head several times and well I decided I would write it down. It just supposed to be small but it kept growing to this.  
> Sorry for any mistakes they are all mine.

I haven't been back in almost two weeks. I decided I needed a detox. It hasn't been easy by any means. I have found myself across the street staring at the big brown door, not even knowing how I got there in the first place. Some addictions are harder for some to let go. Harder than others and  _ he _ has been the hardest addiction of all. He became like an adrenaline -a high- that I needed daily. At first I thought it was just a fluke seeing him once at the pub. I had been there already so many times before and had not seen him until that day. All he gave me was a quick smile and a “ _ Hey _ ” across the bar but that's all I needed. That one little bit and I was hooked. I wanted more. But in the entire month of seeing him there regularly I never could get myself to ask for more. Instead I stayed in silence looking at him through my lashes. Admiring him. Watching as he talked to other people around him. Easily making friends. I wanted to be one of them, well more than, but still one of them.

I always wondered if he noticed me until he caught me staring one time. The last night I was there.When that night, his laugh carried itself across the room. I couldn't help but smile though I had no clue what had caused his contagious laugh. I had been staring at him for a while. Smiling like an idiot when his eyes met mine across the bar. I felt like time stopped, like nothing else or no one else was around. But almost as quick as that moment came it quickly left. The sound of a glass bottle  hitting the floor next to him and breaking made him startle out of our impromptu staring contest. I wasn't sure what exactly I had seen in his eyes, but it felt like I had been an intruder who was caught trying to steal from him. But I wasn't a thief. If anything it was him who had stolen from me. Stealing my thoughts to only think of him. Of  the way his smile  came upon his face, the sound of his laugh, the sound of his voice and how it could carry itself across a room filled with people. 

He had stolen from me but I knew that I would gladly give him anything. My thoughts, my soul, my entire self as long as I was able to be with him. That's why I also knew I had to get away. How can I be willing to give everything to someone I had never truly met? I have wondered if this is what true love feels like, if it's then no wonder people make stupid decision under the curse, of this thing called love. That is how I find myself back here again. Louis told me he had seen him a couple of nights at the pub now with someone new. It's stupid, I knew it was stupid the moment I decided to come back to come and see it for myself, but then again here I am.

 

“There’s your boy” Louis whispered.

I shrugged. I acted like it didn't bother me, because why would it bother me? He wasn't mine and I wasn't his.

“He isn't my boy” I said, but Louis didn't hear it. He was already ahead of me walking towards the bar.

“I'm going to get a table” I said tapping his shoulder so he would see me head in the opposite direction.

I found a table in a corner as far away as possible from the bar. I was sure he would be there. I wanted to look over there and see him -that was the reason I was here- but I could already feel the flutter of butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to prepare myself to see who he was with because I was sure whoever it was would be by his side, so maybe a little liquid courage was needed.

“How are you doing mate?” Louis asked as he took a seat.

“I'm fine. Where’s our drinks?”

“Well I wanted to see how bad things were,does it call for beer or this?” He asked placing a bottle of whiskey on the table.

“Lou I don't even know the guy. It's not...it's not that bad.” I said,not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

“Right” he simply said and poured us each a drink.

 

Three drinks in and Louis had left me for a girl that he spotted at a nearby table. I watched as she laughed along to something he said. He loved that. Louis always wanted to make people laugh.

Three drinks in and I decided it was time. The pub was fairly busy tonight and though there was many people in the bar area I saw him. I couldn't miss his smile even from across the room in the low lighted room. I felt my own smile come across my lips. I was doomed. I saw his normal crowd around him, yeah maybe one or two new guys I had not seen before but nothing seemed different. I took another drink, maybe tonight would be the night I would go over and talk to him. Whether it was seeing him again or downing my fourth drink but everything felt warm. 

 

Fifth drink in. The world seemed to move in slow motion. I watched as she came up behind him. I told myself it's just a hug but he kept his arm around her. Of course he would be into someone like her. Her red lips making her smile shine even brighter as she stared up at him. I was being stupid by continuing to look but I couldn't stop. Not when she brought her hand up to caress his face. Not when his lips kissed her cheek. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry but instead I kept my eyes on them,all the while they didn't notice me. He didn't notice me. He didn't notice me nights before and he sure wasn't noticing me tonight not while he held her so close. Whispering things into her ear.

Another drink. Followed by one or two others,who cares. I was allowed to drink. A drink cheering for him. A drink to say goodbye. A goodbye to this dwelling and wanting of someone who I now knew could never be mine. Goodbye to him.

“Had enough drinks?” Louis face was suddenly blocking my view.

“I could use a few more.” I said as I poured myself another.

“Maybe we should go.” He said.

“No,why?”

“Mate, I know you've seen him with her.”

“So?”

“Well maybe..”

“Maybe nothing. It's better this way. I can move on now. But I mean it's not like we ever had anything anyway. It was just you know a thought an idea and like any idea this was a bad one so it's good it's time to let go.”

“Can you though?” Louis asked.

“What? Can I what?”

“Can you really let go? Just like that?”

“Of something that was never mine? Of course.”

“He isnt something. He is someone.”

“No difference. I've never met him Lou. We haven't even ever talked.”

“It doesn't make him any less real.”

“He was a dream,a fantasy. That's all.”

“Some dreams can eventually come true.”

I looked at him and shook my head. “What are you on about? Since when are you so hopeful.”

“Nothing,never mind forget it.”

“It's the girl over there, the brunette.”

“Eleanor”

“Oh, Eleanor” I smirked.

“She is….yeah she is special.”

“Well go on then, what are you doing over here with me then?”

“You're my friend.”

“Best friend. And as your best friend I'm telling you to go over there. Here take the bottle, I'm done for the night.”

“No don't go, I'll stay here with you.”

“I mean I'm done drinking. Just go. I'll stay a bit longer.”

“Fine but don't leave without telling me or I'll find you tomorrow and punch you for leaving me.”

“ I won't now go” I said pushing on his arm. He laughed a he grabbed the bottle and went back to Eleanor’s table. 

I was happy for him he finally was getting out there, meeting new people after the things he has been through in his life he deserved to be happy. He kept looking over at my table most likely making sure I wasn’t leaving but I was done, truly done for the night. He would eventually forgive me if I left. Obviously my dream wasn’t happening tonight. I looked over at the bar again, habits. He was with her and not me. He would take her home and I would go home alone. Go home and try to forget. Try to forget him. I felt a mess, I’m sure i looked a mess sitting on my own in a dark corner.

“Cheers” I said raising my glass towards him and taking the last of the whiskey that was left. As I put my glass down her eyes locked on mine. Pretty eyes. Seemed a light blue from here. She smiled and of course I mirrored her smile on my own lips. Before I knew it she was making her way through the crowd.

“Hi” she beamed as she reached my table.

“Uh, Hi” I said.

“Do you mind sharing this table with me? These heels are hurting my feet” she said taking a seat and rubbing at her legs.

“Um, well I was..”

“Oh my, I’m sorry. You’re probably waiting for someone.” She said getting back up from the chair.

“No, I’m not, yeah go ahead.” I said motioning towards the chair.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it. I don’t think I could take another minute of standing.”

I nodded. She was pretty, very beautiful.

“Do you come here often?” she asked.

“Not anymore.”

“It's gotten pretty busy, right?” 

“Yeah” I said. She was nice. I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to try and make conversation but I kind of liked it.

“I was just telling Liam he’s done pretty good with the place. Oh wait do you know Liam?”

“I’ve met him, yeah.”

“Harry loves this place. I haven’t been here in a while but I can see why he comes here so often now.” She smiled widely. She must have seen the confused look on my face.

“Oh sorry, you’ve met Harry?”

“Don’t think so.”

“He is the taller one over there at the bar. He is my..”

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen him.” Of course I have seen him. Harry, his name was Harry. Good-bye Harry.

“Cute, right?”

“Uh, sure. I mean.” I could feel the hotness of my face. I was sure it was red.

She laughed. “Yeah I get it. So tell me are you here alone? I saw you with someone earlier.”

_ She saw me?  _ I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Oh no, don’t think I was like being nosy or anything just you know people catch people’s eye and well we can’t help ourselves sometimes. I mean you’re cute so of course I looked.”

“Um, thanks” I said not sure how to take her words. “But no, I’m here with my friend Louis.”

“Only a friend?” she asked raising her eyebrows.

“Yeah just friends” I said pointing at the dance floor where Louis had Eleanor pressed against him.

“Oh” she beamed. “So why is someone as cute as you sitting over here alone?”

Maybe I was buzzing more than I thought but it seemed to me like she was flirting or at least trying to.

“I was actually getting ready to leave.”

“Oh no please don’t say that. Is it because of me? It is me right?”

I laughed. “No, it's not you.”  _ It's your boyfriend I thought. _ “I’m just ready to call it a night.”

“Keep me company, um, sorry what’s your name?”

“Niall, my name is Niall.” 

“Niall” she said as if contemplating on my name “I like it” she finally decided. “So where are you from cute Niall? What’s your story?”

 

Fifteen minutes later and were telling each other stories of times past.

“...so of course my brother then turns around and tried to get me in trouble, blaming me for the broken vase. Siblings can’t live with them.” she said.

“You can’t trade them either. I asked.” I said causing her to laugh beside me.’

“Hey”

I froze. I knew that  _ “hey” _ without having to look up I knew who that voice belong to.

“Oh hey, Harry this is Niall, Niall this is Harry.”

“Hi” he said taking a seat across from me.

“Hi”

“You haven’t, I mean haven’t seen you here in awhile.”

“Yeah, um” He had noticed my head was spinning. “I’ve been busy”

“Oh. I thought maybe my friends and I had like kicked you out or something. I was worried.”

_ He was worried? _

“I mean, Liam said you came here often so when you didn’t come in a few nights, you know I just thought we did something like we took over your spot.”

I smiled. “You didn’t, I just.. Yeah been busy.”

He nodded. “Can I get you a drink? I mean like both of you, do you both want a drink?” 

“No, i was just leaving” I said.

“Is it me? It's me right?” he said.

“Niall have one drink with us. I’ll go get the drinks.” She said getting up.

“Sorry about her she can be a bit, Umm, pushy.”

“She’s alright.” I said.

“Yeah, I guess sometimes” he said smiling.

“Uh, she is very pretty.”

“Yeah?”

I nodded. “And nice she is very nice.”

“Well don’t tell her none of that Niall. It’ll go straight to her head.”

My name sounded great coming out of his mouth.

“I’m glad you’re not busy anymore and you came in tonight.”

“Yeah?” I gulped.

He nodded. “I’ve been wanting to like talk to you but I just didn’t know how.”

“You, you wanted to talk to me?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh talk to me about what?” I asked surprised.

“Anything. I just kinda wanted to get to know you.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, like I just, well since the first day I saw you in here I wanted to go talk but I didn’t want you to think I was like a weirdo at a bar. Then of course I go about it all wrong and start coming here all the time when like why would you even want to talk to me. Or like even at a bar of all places. But I didn’t know where else I could see you except here. And of course Liam made it worse he is like my best friend so he knows I don’t really drink and I tried not to be so obvious I was into you but he noticed, because of course he noticed I like you. Then you stopped coming and I was sure I lost my chance. And I was sure it was because you thought I was being a stalker when I wasn’t and, why are you looking at me like that?”

He had been rambling for a while and I was sure the look on my face was mixed between confusion and complete shock.

“You like me?” I asked.

“Oh, uh yeah” he said pushing his hair back as if it was hitting his face. I am guessing a habit of nerves.

“I’m sorry to just like blurt it out like that, you make me nervous.”

I laughed.

“What?”

“I make you nervous?”

“Yeah..?” he said unsure.

“I haven’t been able to properly say anything around you for a while now. If anything you make me nervous.”

“Oh” he giggled.”

“I wanted to talk to you before too.”

“You did?” he asked excitingly. 

I nodded.

“Well quite a pair we are, aren’t we?”

I laughed. “Yeah, i guess.”

“Glad you came tonight.”

“Me too”

“No like, I’m really glad you came tonight it was the last night my wingman was going to be here.”

“Wing-man?” I asked.

“Well wing-woman, she is not so subtle right now. Leaving to get drinks but yeah.”

“Wait, she’s you wing-woman?”

“Yeah” he beamed.

“Oh”

“What?”

“I thought well, I thought she was your girlfriend.”

He let out a full on cackle. 

“Oh god no, she’s my sister. Did she not tell you that?”

“Well obviously not if I still thought she was your girlfriend.” I said a bit harshly.

“Oh sorry Niall, I wasn’t laughing at you more at like the situation. Sorry I’m an idiot.”

“You are an idiot.” I said smiling as he looked at me with a shocked face. “But I like you so maybe I’m the idiot.”

“No you’re not. Definitely not.”

I was easy falling into conversation with him. Talking about our likes and dislikes. Finding our common grounds so easily. The passion for music being the biggest one of all. I could’ve sat here going on and on talking about anything and everything just to keep seeing his beaming smile every time he got excited about something. All the lights at the pub eventually came on, the music stopped. It caused us both to look around. It was nearly empty just Liam at the bar cleaning glasses while Harry’s sister Gemma- eventually got her name through one of Harry’s stories- sitting at a stool talking with Eleanor and Louis.

“Uh, I guess you never got your drink.” Harry said.

“No but it's alright. I got something better.” I said placing my hand over his above the table. 

“Yeah?”

“Yes” I said.

He smiled my new favorite smile, making his dimples appear. “Me too”

“Some of us do want to get some sleep” Louis yelled from the bar.

I retracted my hand. “I, Uh, i guess I should go.”

He got up and followed me to the bar. 

“Sorry” I said not to anyone specific more to the group in general. 

“Yeah sorry” Harry said over to Gemma.

“No harm done little brother but you owe me.”

“I do” he said looking over at me. I felt my cheeks go warm.

I cleared my throat trying to hide my smile. “Let’s go Lou”.

The group said our good-byes and hello’s and nice to meet you between Louis, Eleanor and Harry. While Louis complained about me losing my manners for not introducing them in the first place.

We walked out of the pub, the cold air making me shiver as soon as I stepped outside. I missed the warmness of being inside. I was afraid now that we had walked out. Fear of breaking the happiness the night had brought. Another set of good-byes were said at the door.

“Are you seeing him again?” Louis asked as we walked off. I turned back briefly, watching as Harry and Gemma walked the opposite direction.

“I...I, I don’t know. I hope so.”

“I’m sure you will” he said.

We didn’t say we would but I guess coming back tomorrow wouldn’t hurt.

“Niall!”

I turned around to see Harry running towards me.

“I forgot something”

I was about to ask what but he took my face in his hands and kissed me. It took me a few seconds to recover from the shock of his lips on mine but eventually I kissed him back. I placed my hands on his hips to pull him closer. Savoring the taste of his lips. Memorizing the feeling.

We parted reluctantly still pecking at each other’s lips. He placed his forehead on mine.

“Yeah, definitely don’t want to forget that.” I said.

He smiled and shook his head. “Definitely not.”

Another sweet short kiss. A perfect one, hopefully one of many more to come.

“Meet me for a date tomorrow?” he asked.

“A date?”

“Yeah a proper date.”

“Alright” I said.

“Tomorrow, 6pm in front of the pub, yeah.”

“Yeah alright.”

“Good-night Niall” he said and pecked my lips.

“Good-night Harry”

“Tomorrow” he said as he walked back towards a patiently waiting Gemma.

“Definitely tomorrow” I said. I turned to see a beaming Louis waiting along with a smiling Eleanor. 

“I guess he had noticed you at the bar too” Louis said.

“Yeah” was all I said.

It hadn’t been only me there waiting. I wasn’t on this feeling on my own. We were in it together and together is how we will be from now until forever. Yeah forever sounds about right to me

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read it hope it was a bit worth your time.


End file.
